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To my friend

Dear friend, I hope you know you're loved. Hope you know you're missed. Hope you're not in pain and you're not afraid. Hope you can forgive my absence and my incompetence, my inability to find you in time. 

Know that I forgave you for having lost  the demo tape of that band that doesn't exist  anymore. I wish we could keep forever talking about that tape.  I wish we could keep on sharing dreams, and having drinks, and dancing, and telling jokes.

My dear friend, I wish I had known. I wish I'd been closer. I wish I had been there for you and that there was still time to earn the confidence of your family, of your kids. I wish they'd call me auntie and that I could help them grow. I wish you could meet my kids and laugh with them. I know you would.

I wish we could have met again and talked about life, about how grown up we are now and how different everything turned out to be. I wish we could have laughed and just known we were all right. 

But it's late, my friend. It's late and I feel impotent. I cannot see you, I cannot rescue you, I cannot save you and I cannot make you laugh. I can just hope, my dear friend, that you know you're loved and I can only beg to all forces that you can go in peace. Goodbye, my friend! 

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