When you are the shadow of a star stretched over the world map, crossing land and water, far and close to your own constellation. When you're here and beyond, when you have everything and long for more still. When you let by gones be by gones and it is possible to be "one and still be plural". When you "see the fine line separating here and there", and upon seeing it, you're not content until you've crossed it. When you wish to be here and yonder and you want to love, to love, to love.
I feel I upset many people. Maybe it is something I do, but the feeling I get is that what upsets them is the way I live, the choices I make. People get upset with me when they hear I don't believe in God. If I tell them that I once did, but have lost my faith after I lost my first child, a premature baby, they fail to grasp the complexity of it. They look at me with irritating condescendent pityful eyes and they think I can be "fixed." To be fair, maybe I fail to help them understand that after what happened to me, God as I came to know it and most people of Christian beliefs do, is of no use to me. God proved himself either nonexistent or useless to me when my first born died and when I almost followed him due to Eclampsia and Hellp Syndrome (Go ahead and google it! Unless you are doctor or had someone in the family who had this, you will never know it.) He did not save my baby and he did not spare me the excruciating suffering I had to endure. And if you think I...
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