Would you help me if I stopped breathing? You don't care if I live or die, do you? Bring me water, Read me a story! Hire someone to help. Do you think she will die on the operating table? Have you thought of what to do? What will you say to the kids? Would you stay a little longer? Would you hold my hand? Who is the teacher? What are the strategies? Can I get a discount? Did you answer the messages? Did you pay the bills? Did you lock the doors, roll up the windows of the car parked outside? Did you think about that project? And 'bout the prospect of never really being what you intended to be? Did you think about that? Do you worry that more friends of yours may die? Are you afraid you won't be there? Do you text your friends in the morning to secretly check if they are alive? Are you afraid you won't hear her if she actually stops breathing in the middle of the night? Have you dried out? Will you have dementia? Will you know your name? Did you live a happy life? Why are you so afraid? Do you think you're overweight? Do you think you're over it? Do you feel you're overwhelmed? Do you think you're over?
Schopenhauer says to live is to climb a mountain and when you see what is waiting for you on the other side of the mountain too early in life, you can never climb it the same way. I saw what was on the other side and decided I was simply not climbing that mountain anymore, unless pushed the way up. You wouldn’t realize that just by looking at me then. You wouldn’t see that I had quit. I would wake up, take showers, eat (actually there would be a lot of eating), go to work, do whatever obligation I was supposed to. I would even go out with friends or family. But if you looked really closer, you would realize I was only automatically responding to demands, except for the food. Food became my only source of pleasure. How was all the rest performed? At work, if there were tasks and deadlines, I’d do them, using no more than the basic skills required. As to my social life, it rested on the plans of others. They would say when and where to go. They would pick me up and bring me ho...
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