Skip to main content

The Turn


Once she had fallen on that turn. She was riding a moped. The boys from school had somehow messed it up. They had removed the pipe and the gas just didn’t pass through. She tried to turn the bike on a couple times, aware that there had been a sort of sabotage. Very irritated, she kept an exterior calmness, while the boy approached and showed her in five seconds what the problem was. She thanked him and left. “What a stupid way to flirt!” She proceeded with her afternoon ride, good school times, the wind on her face, the postponed obligations, dinner waiting on the table, all the time in the world… The moped failed a couple times, she had to break it and speed it up at the same time to keep it going. In one of these attempts, on the curve, she skidded! The moped slipped to one side while she slid to the other in a 45-degree angle. She stood up, covered by the red dirt of Brasília, bruised, hurt. She picked up the moped and carried it, limping, to the last house of the street.

She was not a girl anymore. She had her own responsibilities, work, bills, problems… She went down the slope that led to the turn, driving not the moped anymore, but the car purchased in her first job. A silent afternoon, she drove calmly, the only car on the road. She was approaching the turn when she saw them, fallen, three bodies, a man, a woman and a girl, all black. The abundant hair, dark and curly, speckled with the red dirt, the woman’s and the girl’s white cotton dresses with little red flowers on them. The man wore khaki pants, rolled up on the calves like a fisherman’s and a white shirt also rolled up until his elbows. They were simple raw leather sandals. Slowly, she drove past them, there, fallen, inert. There was no blood, but the immobility didn’t leave any room to wonder. She continued driving, urging to get home. She passed the turn and entered the little road immediately to its left.

She realized the strange silence, the lack of movement. As she drove down the road, the strangeness grew. Mute, everything was mute, not even the singing birds could be heard. The still air, sultry, increased the light and the afternoon heat. All windows in each of the white houses were open. Ivory curtains flew through them. She continued driving, her breath suspended. She finally arrived at the house at the end of the street. There, the curtains also flew through the windows moved by an inexistent wind. She turned right to get the car in the garage. The gate was already open. She saw, again, on the driveway, the same light dresses, the same khaki pants, the same leather sandals, the same black bodies, fallen, together, in the same position.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I upset people (This may be the first of a series)

I feel I upset many people. Maybe it is something I do, but the feeling I get is that what upsets them is the way I live, the choices I make. People get upset with me when they hear I don't believe in God. If I tell them that I once did, but have lost my faith after I lost my first child, a premature baby, they fail to grasp the complexity of it. They look at me with irritating condescendent pityful eyes and they think I can be "fixed." To be fair, maybe I fail to help them understand that after what happened to me, God as I came to know it and most people of Christian beliefs do, is of no use to me.  God proved himself either nonexistent or useless to me when my first born died and when I almost followed him due to Eclampsia and Hellp Syndrome (Go ahead and google it! Unless you are doctor or had someone in the family who had this, you will never know it.) He did not save my baby and he did not spare me the excruciating suffering I had to endure. And if you think I...

The child that did not stay

I remember expecting a child that never came, a child I never held in my arms. I remember expecting a child who would have his father's hair, his kind eyes.  He would be curious of the world and I would follow closely all the things he would see with enchanted eyes. Everything would be new for his new eyes. Those were the words of a song about someone else's child, a song I used to listen to while waiting for this child. I remember dreaming of his future, of his smiles. I remember my hopes for him. He did not want me, this child. He did not stay.  He was not interested in the playground in front of the building we live. He was not interested in having my hand holding his while he walked his first steps. He did not care about the flowers, leaves, little dry sticks that fall from the trees in our neighbourhood. He did not want to listen to the slightly out of tune lullabies I was going to sing or the stories I would read at bedtime. He did not even care for the milk, all th...

No espelho

  Olhei hoje para o espelho e me vi mais serena, me enxerguei com mais leveza. Não que esteja de fato mais leve, eu acho. Ou será que estou? Tenho ainda infinitas incertezas e dúvidas aos milhares, mas a imagem que me olhou de volta do espelho, não me olha com tristeza, dor pânico.     A imagem que vejo nesse espelho é de     calma, no olhar certa paz, talvez de se entender humana, imperfeita e aceitar essa condição.     Aqui, deste lado que estou, me observando no espelho, sinto ainda o coração encolher como se uma mão o quisesse esmagar. Encolhe-se para sobreviver e expande-se em seguida. Ao encolher-se, a respiração dá uma pausa e uma bolha de cristal sobe em refluxo, pausando ali no meio da goela. Assim que pode, o coração retorna a seu pulsar, seu ir e vir. Permanecem ali as dúvidas, as exigências, as demandas, mas também os desejos de só ser, irresponsavelmente ser e atender a cada quimera. Porque a vida é curta! A vida é sopro!    E o ...